An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
