Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
