i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
