At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
