Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
