real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
