I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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