It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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