they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
