So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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