brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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