i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
