whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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