i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
