This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
