The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
