Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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