i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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