that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
