If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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