i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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