i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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