Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
