i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
third nipple confirmed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
