it was like eating out sand paper
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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