what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
