A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I understand Curling. That high.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
