did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
