I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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