The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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