Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
