Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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