I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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