I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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