we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
