I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
