Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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