so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
