About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
