I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
