So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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