I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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