If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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