i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
