Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
