D3 body, D1 cock
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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