I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sarcasm needs its own font
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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