Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
