Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My vagina is officially offended.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
