Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
