Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
